Deeper , Stronger , Loveable

Heartbeat Fast, Colours And Promises

2011-12-07T07:10:00.001-08:00

~~Spm is finally over !~~

I am finally free. I finally dont have to worry of what to study when i get home . At least for three more months. Now , i could spent more time with family , friends, books (TO READ) =P , and music. So this month of DECEMBER ! Christmas is on its way . Cant wait. I'll be going to Singapore for at least three days . And to Nilai , bro's place for Christmas.

School is over . I am sad yet happy at the same time . But mostly to the sad part because i wont be able to goof around with my crazy, adorable , silly friends in my uniform anymore. I wont be able to ponteng . I wont be able to run around school like a crazy person. I wont be able to sit around with my friends and laugh non stop while teacher is at the front teaching =P . Most of all , i cant hug them randomly whenever i want to. It sucks. But life has to go on .

I practically have no idea what to blog about , but somehow i'll find my way .

I miss my love , i feel restless , and sometimes it takes a long time for me to close my eyes and sleep. My mind is constantly thinking of him. How nice it would be to have him with me now . How nice it would be to fall asleep with him by my side. My heart misses him so much . I am sure he is thinking of me at this very moment . Hopefully. I love him more than anything . I have always have and always will. Somehow i can keep saying that everytime , anytime.

There is a long journey ahead. I am sure i'll get to deal with it . I am sure it will be fine. As i am counting on my faith. It has to be fine . It has to be great actually. I have to stop procrastinating, its a bad habit . And so i still end my nights with a simple prayer to God. I believe 'he' will make good things happen somehow. I hope my baby is good . I hope he sleeps well everynight, knowing i pray for him all the time . I really wish i could hold him now .

Ring Around The Moon

2011-10-09T12:48:00.000-07:00

When i grow a little older , i wish to get a tattoo . And that tattoo will be the word FAITH. That word is like the theme of my whole life. Faith in my family , my relationship , my friends , my education , and my dreams . Everyday , i go on holding on to that word. I have so much to say . I am greatful for my life , everything and everyone in it . I am surrounded by so many people , great ,inspiring people. I thank my best friends , my boyfriend , and my family so much for supporting me throughout everything .

I have many things to look forward to next year . I am scared . I am really scared . But , like i said , FAITH ! I have a lot of faith in me . I hope it does not fade along the way . I really feel greatful , especially today , because i saw A HUGE RING AROUND THE MOON ! I know it has occured many times. But today i witnessed one , and for me it's one of God's miracles. And it's amazing . Truly. I feel like i must not take anyting for granted . My boyfriend , oh how much i love him , he keeps me going every single day . Reminding me that i am special in so many different ways. And i love him more and more every day . Over and over again !

I learn that life will do shit ! But it's how you learn to handle it. I know i have a great lesson waiting for me . And i know i will learn it along the way . I wanna do music , as an every day thing . I wanna do chemical engineering . I wanna write music . I need to learn how to play the piano . I wanna start learning photography. I wanna love , love , love as much as i can ! Family , friends, my darling boy , i wanna love them as much as i can ! And i will .

Have i told you , how much i love today's talent . Singers , songwriters , actors and many more from all around the freaking world. Damn ! so much talent , their music is just out of this world and freaking great ! I am so overwhelmed. Rite now , i am digging JAVIER COLON , JOE BROOKS, ADELE , and a little bit of AVRIL LAVIGNE ! I love lyrics, i wish that one day i would right the most amazing song , and be able to sing or hear someone other artist sing it . That is one of my dreams ! Exams are near , pray to god that i will give it my all ! Here is a few songs that i am love at this very moment ! Crazy for you is for my love.. ! And the second song is for each and every one of us !

2011-09-11T09:01:00.001-07:00

September

2011-09-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since i have blogged. What is there to say ? A lot actually . My major exam is due in November . Cant wait for that to pass.

I know i mostly blog about how i feel towards a boy who i love dearly.

You see , i cant help it .

There is so much to say about him, so much that sometimes i dont know where to start.

It has been such a long way now, i honestly, truthfully and sincerely still love him more than anything.

I would take the time everyday to remind him .

My love for him has never lessen nor changed. It's the same and will grow day by day.

One night ago, my baby told me that he wish he wasn't with me , this because he wish he could fall in love with me over again.That is one of the sweetest things he has said to me . There are more!

Have i told you , i love singing for him . I love the way he reacts when i end a song .

I wish i could be with him , by his side everyday. I envy those who get to see him everyday.

I wish i had that privillage.

But somehow , everything is always right when it comes to him.

He makes me pray harder each night before i go to sleep.

I have one of the best dreams about him , the one that keeps me going .

I love him, always have , always will.

And my love , it has never changed. I love you .

I wanna hold you tight , right at this moment.

Next To You

2011-06-06T11:55:00.000-07:00

Time passes very fast , it scares me . So i try my best to make the most out of it .
It's late at night , i cant sleep. And it's because i wanna let my baby know, that i am still very much in love with him .

Baby , you are more than good enough for me . I dont ever want you to feel otherwise. You're still the one that i love . The only one i dream of. You're still the one that i run to. You're still that i want for life. And love , i really love the song you posted for me , it really said everything . You're my miracle love , my everything. I will love you through thick and thin , through everything. Always will cherish you. Dont ever think i would let you go . I wont. You are my angel. I love you.

Bliss

2011-06-01T09:58:00.001-07:00

I am sorry that i lost my temper. I am sorry that I should have known better. I am sorry I didnt listen. I am sorry i hurt you. I am sorry i wasnt polite. I am sorry i made you angry. I am sorry i didnt say I LOVE YOU at the end of the call . I am sorry i shouted. I am sorry i made a mistake .I am sorry i was horrible. I am sorry i couldnt take it back. I am sorry i annoyed you . I am sorry if i didnt understand . I am sorry if i took you for granted even for a second. I am sorry i lost it for no reason. I am sorry i made your day bad. I am sorry i spoiled your mood. I am sorry that i made you feel like shit. I am sorry i am like this . I am sorry for saying what i said. I am sorry that i have made u felt like u weren't good enough. I am sorry i didnt ask you how you were feeling . I am sorry i didnt ask whether you have eaten. I am sorry i let myself go. I am sorry for all the hurt. I am sorry for the doubts . I am sorry i couldnt get to say goodnight properly. I am sorry i couldnt give u a hug for the day . I am sorry . I am sorry . I am sorry . I am sorry . I love you so much , I cant sleep love , Forgive me . Please.

2011-05-16T10:00:00.001-07:00

There is always something waiting to go wrong , especially when i think it's right . Someone has to say some shit !
=(

Anyway , putting that aside . It's 12:45 AM , i am still awake . That is because i need to study . I need to drown in my books ! I need and must say something . 10 things .

NUMBER 1
He is still my one and only love .

NUMBER 2
I still have the same smile on my face everytime i think of him.

NUMBER 3
Being in his arms is the safest place in the world to me .

NUMBER 4
It seems like it was yesterday that i first met him and fell for him.

NUMBER 5
He is handsome and the cutest person ever . ( even if he denies it) =P

NUMBER 6
I still love they way he looks at me , and smiles at me .

NUMBER 7
I love the way he kisses me.

NUMBER 8
I love his warm hugs . It always seem to make everything better.

NUMBER 9
He is a gift send from above to me . =)

NUMBER 10
HE CHANGED MY LIFE .

I LOVE YOU ! ALWAYS WILL !

Better With !

2011-05-14T07:50:00.001-07:00

I hate myself .. i am starting to become more and more impatient. It sucks !

What The Eff Does Giving Up Mean ??

2011-05-08T05:22:00.001-07:00

You see , there are times when somethings never make sense. Sometimes you feel like everything you had with that someone , even if its your bestfriend , are all for nothing . But not for me , i am so confused . But i am not giving up , i'll figure it out . Till then , i am just gonna endure all that comes to me . Because i am sure , i have to be strong , even if it is the hardest thing to do . I'll get trough it .
And i haven't changed , i am still the same . I have changed to be better not worse . I need all the help i can get . GOD help me !

Shanker Raj I Love You !
Everyday!

Selfsih Nor Boastful

2011-05-02T03:44:00.000-07:00

Love is always patient and kind ,
It is never jealous,boastful nor conceited,
It is never rude or selfish, It does not take a fence,
And it is not resentful,
It does not take pleasure in other people's sins , delight and truth,
and to endure whatever comes.

Time scared the hell out of me . Its going very fast , there is no way to just stop and look at how much things have become better. For some people worse , for me , better ! I have many things to say , many things to tell , to write about . But i really dont know where to start. Well , first , I've grown , mentally and emotionally. I've learned a lot from many people in my life . My mother , my father , my friends and also my angel.

A broken family ? I should stop saying that . Its not true . I dont have a broken family , i have an endless loving mother , and a great father . Even if now things are different . They're my parents no matter what . Time cant change that. As in for my friends , they has been times where things got a little shaky , but we got trough it . Some of us may be in hardship , but as a friend , i offer a helping hand . I am there to help my firends whenever they need , or even when they dont need me. As they have become the most amazing people i have ever had in my life, I tend to love them more than they can imagine .

As for my lover , what can i say ?? He is perfect in every way . He doesnt believe it , when i say . But it's true. He doesnt know how much i learn being with him. He thought me how to be patient, loyal , respect , and most importantly love. He is got sparks in him , like fireworks. I repeat , he has the cutest smile , laugh . He annoys me in many ways, but has the best way to make me laugh again.I really have so many things to say about him . But he already knows how much i love him , and how much i cherish and appreciate him every second of the day. When i am down , or when i think i cant make it , he gives me strength again . My love , i thank you with all my heart and soul . For all the times i have been with you and the times that are to come , are the memories i will never forget. I will have you in my heart , wherever i go , or whatever i do .

I have to keep my words , i have still have more to come .

My Hero !

2011-01-14T08:45:00.000-08:00

Well, havent blog in a very long time . Missed those times where i could just take my time , sit in front of my laptob and let the words type themselves =P . Normally to blog about something worthwhile and beautiful, there comes a thought . A thought about something or someone that's just too great to resist. Then you realise that there is nothing more important than to talk about that someone who makes it all seem too perfect.

To me , everytime i think about him , is the time where i start to wonder , where did i got right ? How on earth did i get the chance to feel this strongly about someone. It was so random , but became the best thing that ever happened to me . It's quite impossible to some people , but it's true. I have fallen in love with an angel . I am not afraid to admit . Everyday with him , is the greatest day of my life . He is my hope , dream and every reason for me to live . The times when i think , what if i never met him ? How would it be like ? How empty would i feel ? . But there he was , looking as perfect as he always would , with my heart in his hand. Smiling his way towards me , whispers every word that i've been longing to hear. Every second of every day , i could go on and on talking , thinking , day dreaming of the way he is . His smile , his walk , his laugh , it keeps me going . It reasures how i felt about him , it send impulses to my head , telling me that , I LOVE HIM . There is never a better place , nothing better than being in his arms , knowing that nothing can go wrong . And yet , fear is still there , but as soon as he calls me gorgeous, it goes away. There are still those minds who thinks the word IMPOSSIBLE all the time . To hell with them . I am here , now and always will be . And there is nothing in this world that will stop me from loving him .

And my darling , i will always be yours , and you will always be mine . I Love You !

New Year !

2010-12-19T08:15:00.000-08:00

I still get the butterflies in my stomach everytime i look at him. It still feels like its the first time i am meeting him. It feels like i am falling in love with him all over again. Is there anything better ?? Well, actually there is , there is more to just loving him, there is a change, a good change of heart.I wish i could do more .

School is starting again , a year left . I am scared , very scared of the future. I am hopping for it to be good , or at least positive. Christmas and New year was awesome . Complete actually . I am happy , because of many reasons. Too many actually , but one of it is 'YOU' my love . Wish to do good , to be better ..for the ones that love me . For the ones who are still by my side. I wish to never lose them . That's all i have to say for now . Gotta get back to loving and living my life . =)

Silver Bells !

2010-12-16T20:47:00.000-08:00

Christmas ! Heee...

Cant wait ! =)

My Second Family !

2010-12-10T09:27:00.000-08:00

I hope that it is not wrong ,to have a second family. IT's not what you think ,it's just that , i find it very comforting to be around this family,even if i have my own . But sometimes its just different , to be around different people.

Sometimes you fight and have misunderstandings with your family , that's when you feel alone. Even when you're not alone, you just feel that way. Then , you have this friend who says " WHY DONT YOU COME OVER TO MY PLACE?". And you say "SURE , THAT WOULD BE NICE."

When you get there , her father asks you , whether you have eaten , how are you feeling , asking you about school. Then they just start having normal conversations, like there is nothing more simple and easier in life. Like there is no pain,screaming and tears. They're just happy. Normal. They make you feel better. That is all. Simple huh ?

But there is not a day i go on , without remembering how much my mother and father have done for me. And yes , i love them very much. And will care for them till the end my life. It's just simple really. Which child does not love their parents. =) .

Well, holidays have been good, dancing alot ! Tuitions alot ! But i am still surviving. I am happy . But i am also scared because there is so much more to come. But i wanna say, that i love you . I love you , to my one and only love , to my bestfriends, to my crazy cousins, to my uncles and aunties, and also my very caring brother and to my parents.

Bubu, i love you !

A Whole New Meaning !

2010-11-19T10:11:00.001-08:00

Quote

" We weren't raised to be haters"

Anton Ranil.

So that's what we wont do , hate. It's a waste

of time and energy. It also brings more pain and tears. So the solution is to be mature and tolerate the ones you dislike. Instead

of wanting to kill them all the time .

A week to go , and he'll be home soon enough. Yesh , i still love him very much with all my heart. And no , i'll never stop. If you're reading this love , i wanna tell you that ' I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU' .

Studies ?? Well , have nothing to say about it. I am also just waiting for Niscya to finish her SPM so that we could hang out. She promised me that we would. So i am holding on to her promise. And btw, SHANIA sounds awesome, it's feels so damn awesome to strum her. She makes beautiful music. And i am working on another song, no title to it yet. Heeee..I Still miss my bubu so damn much . Danc

e exams this Sunday , hope i pass. It's my first time. I gotta clean my nails, they're blue !

Anyway, i just wanna say that , whatever it is that is coming to me , i am deal with it. I love you , My One an

d only.Forever !

Guitar Love !

2010-11-17T10:18:00.000-08:00

Her name is Shania,

I miss !

Shut Them Up !

2010-11-14T09:01:00.000-08:00

I dont feel peace, i am restless and also sad. I am sad because i miss my bubu . I am not use to not hearing from him. But it's been a day and a half since i've heard anything from him. Damn !I am lame.

I really need to say something , that i've been longing to say. Anyone out there , who is saying that i dont deserve to be with him , SHUT THE HELL UP ! I will prove you wrong . I'll prove that I can love , and I will not break his heart. I will never ever give up on him. But i sure do hope , that he'll do the same. I hope and pray that wherever it is that he is , he'll always love me the same and that it will never change. I know he wont leave , but there is still the fear. Anything or anyone can take him away from me. But i hope , i can stand strong and fight that ! I know i can , but i still fear. I want that fear to go . But sometimes i think that the fear and the pain , is the things that remind me that HE does exist and is real. But no matter what i have faith , and i'll pray everyday . I hope he is doing okay , and fine. I hope he is dreaming about me every night when he sleeps. =) . I want him to call ! I am still waiting . I cant wait for 27th. ='(

Anyway , i am trying to find something productive to do this hols. First i gotta go fix my guitar =( . Then i gotta go for tuition , cant you believe that ?? ! =P . Then i might go SUNWAY. I've got dance exams this sunday ! And well, i dunno la. I just feel so empty rite now ! I am tired. I need to sleep. So am gonna hit the sack ! GOODNIGHT!

When You Know , You Know !

2010-11-13T22:31:00.000-08:00

I wait and wait for your call, or anything it is. I miss you badly . And I need you , i cant even sleep at night my love. Come Back Fast !

Holding Back The Tears

2010-11-12T08:15:00.001-08:00

='(

1 Month !

2010-11-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

Knowing You Was So Random , It Turned Out To Be Something So Awesome!

You Lift My Feet Off The Ground And Spin Me Around , You Make Me Crazier !

I Will Take You In My Arms , And Hold You Right Where You Belong , Every Word I Say Is True , This I Promise You !

I Lift My Hands And Pray , To Be Only Yours , I Pray , You're MY Only Hope!

You Are The Only Exception!

You're My Favourite Song!

And I Wouldn't Change A Thing !

I sang to him twice over the phone , I sang to him the only exception ! Truthfully , he is my only exception !

09.11.2010 ! Best Day Ever !

Hee ! I felt his heartbeat ... It went 'dub dub dub dub dub '. Its the best sound ever. He made me promises, which i hope he'll never ever break . And he is leaving for at least a month , i am gonna miss him so damn much . And yes , i am gonna have a hard time surviving each day without his morning and goodnight kisses but 'TIME PASSES BY FAST'. I learned a lot , from the past week , especially from him . And no , i am not gonna tell you what exactly! =P.

'I am sorry i kinda teared in front of you love , its kinda embarrassing, like you said ! =P ! But its just that , I am just gonna miss you , SO DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN MUCH! Its easy to say , but its hard , very hard . But nevermind that. And whenever i am with you , i dont ever wanna go home, or leave . I wanna stay by your side. You make me feel safe. It feels like no one can ever harm me when i am with you . I feel warm and loved ! I keep Reminding myself of how lucky i am , and yea i'll keep saying it . Finally , there is no hole in my heart, Not anymore.

We're Like Venus And Mars, We're Like Different Stars

2010-11-02T07:18:00.000-07:00

I am not sure whether I can get it out of my system!

Remember the saying " You'll Never Know What You Have Until It's Gone" , well, I will be happy to tell you that , I wont have to realize what i have until it's gone , I already know what i have ! And yes, its the best feeling ever. Many people out there can say whatever it is that they want to . But nothing can change what is meant to be. Even tough, you're the most horrible person on earth, you are meant to be loved by someone . You just gotta have patience. But sometimes , you can never know what might happen . It can all just fade away, but its your job have to faith. It's your job to know how to love and appreciate and respect .

Even when you hate it so much , but you can endure it for the ones you love. When it annoys you so badly, but it all goes away as soon as he says ' I Love You So Damn Much , I am so damn lucky to have you'. That's when you know that the pain others cause you , is so damn worth it. You know that you're not alone. Someone, HE is there. He is there to listen , every day , night. It doesnt matter how silly , ugly or goofy you are. That 'HE' loves you just the way you are. Just because he doesnt love you the way you want him to, that doesnt mean he doesnt love with all his heart. Trust me.. HE DOES!

It's the feeling you get when , you take a bus and walk all the way , just so u can watch a movie with him. It's when you wait one hour and a half, to see him. It's when you're so angry, but lets go of it so that , you dont loose the chance to be with him.It's when you wait the whole day for a call from him but doesnt get it. It's when he starts saying the wrong things at the wrong time.

BUT

There is also the best part, when he smiles at you and tells you " You're Damn Pretty" . When you're feeling so down , he is there to make you smile. When you totally lost all the hope you had, He brings them back again. When you feel so alone and not worth anything, He makes you feel the most important person in the world. He makes you the queen of his heart. Everything he says makes you smile, so damn wide. Every night , thinking of him , you cry happy tears. Knowing that you have someone so great to love you.

At that moment , it doesnt matter whether you took a bus and walked all the way, waiting the whole day to hear from him, waiting one hour and a half for him, or wateva it is that he says, YOU LOVE HIM AND HE LOVES YOU BACK , AND HE MAKES YOU THE MOST HAPPIEST PERSON ON EARTH. It's All Worth It. AND no complaints. You dont complain cause there is no one better than him.

I GOT IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM ! I LOVE YOU !

Mocha !

2010-10-22T06:17:00.000-07:00

Gosh ! Your Smile ?? !
=)

I wont deny , I cant live without you !

Who Owns My Heart ? Love Or Art ?

2010-10-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

These are just random !
I think they're super cute !
=)

Never Forget ! Your Heart Is With Me !

2010-10-10T09:57:00.000-07:00

Do you know that I love you ?i Probably already told you, but i am going to keep saying it. There is no lies in these words, not one bit. Your smile keeps me alive, Is one more reason to keep me fighting, I would give you my soul for comfort, even if it leaves me dark and cold . And when i hold you close,i can feel your heart beat fast, and i think to myself, i;ve found that 'someone' at last !

Would you give up anything just so that , you can see the ones you love be happy ? Would you always want to do more even when its more than enough ? Would you take a bullet for the one you love ?
'Death is peaceful, Life is harder'
I want you to know that you are never alone. Never forget how much i love you. Till the day my heart stops beating , i will never stop loving you. Even when the whole world is against you, i will be there ! To help you, pick you up when you fall.

Do you know , what would be perfect? Having you , lying on my lap, telling me how much you love me , then i would just play with your hair (eventough you dont like it) =P. Then i would sing you to sleep. But i wont sleep, i'll just watch you. I'll watch how peaceful you are, and i would'nt change anything about it. Not too much ?? =P

In a blink of an eye, you stole my heart. Just like that, you made me fall so hard. I never thought i could feel that again. But i still can. You're the best part of me. Gosh ! You that valuable ! I am in tears now ! Cant take it . I'll Stop here for now. But in reality , it never stops , there is no ending in how i feel for you .

Study Break

2010-10-03T00:30:00.000-07:00

Yes, This whole week is going to be the week where i study. I know last minute preparation is bad! But well, that's me i guess! =P

A Message

2010-10-01T07:08:00.000-07:00

A Message From The Girl With a Big Heart .

" To my love , there is not a day i can go on without you. You're the air i breathe. Every minute of everyday, you fill my mind. You're all i talk about. You're all i think about. I may not tell you that i love you every minute of the day , but i truly do love you with all my heart.

It's been a very long time since there was someone like you to love me so deeply. And love , i want you to know that i appreciate you. I know sometimes you feel like you'll lose me and all. But baby there is no one i would love more than i love you.You made me love again, smile again. I am happier than ever. When i say that i'll never leave you, i mean it my love. I dont ever want you to feel like i am taking you for granted. I'll do anything to show you how much i love you. Anything, you name it !

There is no one like you , and there will never be anyone like you. You're more than i deserve . I want and will spent the rest of my life with you . And i am sorry if i have ever made you feel unimportant, i am truly sorry ! No one can take me away from you .
Your eyes, your smile, your laugh is just breathtaking.
I Love You "

IS THIS GOOD ENOUGH ? TOO MUCH ?
HEEEE !

God Is Great !

2010-09-27T09:13:00.000-07:00

What else is there to say , i mean my title of the post says it all. Yes , God is great. He gave me so much , and i am truly blessed and greatful. I will always have faith and hope !
Thank you, for everything. Thank you for the wonderful people that are present in my life. The people that never fail to love me and to stand by me. There is nothing more i can say to describe how lucky i feel. Its beyond anything i can ever imagine. Gosh , I am in love with life !

Its Back !

2010-09-25T10:15:00.000-07:00

The pain is back i guess, i mean temporarily ! But it still hurts. I am hurt at the moment. But instead of saying the right things to me , the wrong things are being said at the moment.I know its not by purpose but still it hurts.I wanna scream , to tell them all that it hurts very badly but i dnt think that would change anything. I am giving up a lot for a good reason but it feels like a one side party. Too much effort ? I wonder?. Its sad . But i'll get through it . Its not good to complain. I am still smilling ! Why am i so different , why dont they get it, that i am in so much more pain compared to them. I am a nuinsance right??

Pray pray !

School !

2010-09-19T06:04:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is school, being sleepy,tired,laughing all day,making silly jokes in class, and sleeping late- because- you -have -to -complete- your- school- work ... IS BACK ! =P...
Happy Schooling ! Exams Are near ! Goodluck everybody !

You , You , You Only

2010-09-16T09:45:00.001-07:00

Well, holidays are gonna end in three days. I am sad but i am glad at the same time. Glad because i am finally gonna start studying for real. I have been studying but nothing is really getting into my brain. Sad !

But, i would like to tell ya'll how much i love this two weeks holidays. Firstly because of my friends. They made it awesome . VEENA,VITA,SONISCYA and the others (you know who you are). I love you guys so much ! Heeee..

Secondly, is because of my family . Heee <3 i love mummy and daddy .

So enjoy with the ones you love. And smile, take on life with a positive perspective. Anyday mite be your last, so make it count ! =)

Who You Are

2010-09-13T10:22:00.000-07:00

Yes , i am going to bed with a huge smile. Because i know , the faces i love will still be there tomorrow. They'll wish me goodmorning again. Hope things stay this good. But kukikuki ! =)
Smile World !

Make A Dream

2010-09-12T05:47:00.000-07:00

Make a Dream !
I truly love everyone who is with me now. Again i say this ! i dont care of what others are saying. Nothing matters more than my family and friends.Screw what others think. I had an awesome week with the ones i love so dearly . I could name them but you can already see them. They made my week a whole lot brighter and better. I cant thank them enough.
They make me better. What more can i say ? For the last few posts i've been saying how happy i am. But now i cant describe my happiness. It's way beyond imagination ! Hehe! Yes, I love each and every one of them. Dont ask me why ? I just do. I would die if i lose any of them. I love my MUMMY AND DADDY ! I love life . I have regrets but wth ?? I dont regret having these crazyheads in my life ! I wish i could pay them back for all
the things they have done for me . Vita and Veena are my sisters i wish i could have at home with me everyday. Soniscya is a part of me i will never let go. Davin,Anton,Anbu,Ravin,Gabby,Mike are my brothers. Deva and Avie are my annoying little besties which i would never forget ! hehe . Shanker completes me .

So , dont judge me. Or the people i love. Cause there is no way i am giving them up. Because they're my life. I live,breathe,drink,eat and smile because of...Them ! Not forgetting my MUM AND DAD !They're my Heroes!

TIMENEVERKILLS
WHATIHAVE
FORTHEM!

There Is No Goodbye !

2010-09-08T07:14:00.000-07:00

He makes me happy,
Can that possibly be wrong ?
No! ♥

Where do i begin ? The holidays are just awesome. Everybody is healthy and happy ! This week is busy busy busy ! But , Wednesday is an unforgettable day ! Dont ask ! I am in love ! I am in love with life. And there is a reason. I just cant tell you ! Not now ! =)

Sweet Dreams

2010-09-06T10:14:00.000-07:00

I am about to sleep in a few more minutes. Well, everything is going as normal as it can be. Which is a totally good thing for me. I am bored. I studied BIO today. And yes i learned something . I am skype-ing with Anton at then moment. Heee., I am still on FB. But i am about to shut down in a while more. Cant wait for Veena and Vita to come over here. We're gonna bring the house down ! Haha.
Anyway, i bought that dress i wanted from NICHII ! I am so damn happy i got it ! Damn,its gorgeous. Heee.. i am listening to Paramore at the moment. And yea.. they're coming down to Malaysia on the 19th of October. I am saving up to go see them . How cool is that ? I'll be going with my cousins i guess. I have to go, it's on my TO-DO-LIST to go see a Paramore concert. I might just cry if i see them ! Heeee !
I am Sleepy ... =)

Look Closely

2010-09-06T00:29:00.000-07:00

STEP UP 3D !
AWESOME !

Dream BIG !

I watched Step Up 3D. And yes it was awesome. I love the way they dance ! Damn la..the movie is unforgettable !
Anyway, Dream big everyone. Cause its a part of life. Whether or not it may or may not happen. Just Dream ! Just Incase ! =)

Skype-Ing

2010-09-03T08:08:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been skype-ing a lot and yes, I find it so damn bloody fun !I mean, I dont know why, I find it so much better than Msn ! =) Heee ! fun fun fun !

Shed !

2010-09-01T02:25:00.001-07:00

I am so happy, i could scream so damn bloody loud. Everything just seem so peaceful. Guess what, for the first time in my life, i actually shared something with Anton Ranil. It's so damn surprising. But it's really such a nice feeling. We exchanged stories. Haha.. I am sure he is reading this right now and laughing to himself. Anyway,

"Till My Heart Stops Beating"

Strong words eh? Well yeah, and i used them. Never thought i would, but i did. And i am happy about it. I mean saying it. And yes , i am on cloud nine. I dont wanna come down. I smile to myself, every night before going to sleep. And it's all because of you ! Yes ! You! You're responsible of making me smile so damn broad each and every day. Heeee ! I am not COMPLAINING ! =P

Holidays ! Fun Or No Fun ?

2010-08-31T00:31:00.001-07:00

The two weeks holidays, are on their way now. Anyway, i am surely gonna be spending my time at Veena and VIta's . We're going pyramid i guess. Then, its Raya ! I need to go shopping. I am still aiming for that dress i saw at Nichii that day. Hopefully its still there. Hmm...i miss school. Tomorrow its back at school, till Friday then the hols begins. I am thinking of how next year is gonna be. I know i am gonna be sitting for my SPM but i wonder how that's gonna change school. I mean i still wanna have fun. I dont wanna sitting around studying all the time. I wanna enjoy school life to the max.

Heee. Anyway, this Friday hopefully i can go to the library with Soniscya Karajj ! =). Hopefully thats possible ! =)

It's All Good !

2010-08-29T10:39:00.001-07:00

I wont exaggerate , i wont lie , i wont hide but truthfully , my life is changing. I never knew someone or something so small could make my life better. Yes , i am thankful. Life is hard, but i am not afraid to face it. I've done things and yes i admit not all of it are for good. There are some that have turned out to be big mistakes. But i am not proud of it, i admit my wrongdoings and i make them right in the future.I cant help myself from saying the word sorry over and over again. That's because i was raised to be polite and to be respectful and to appreciate. And that's what i will do. I am sorry to everyone out there, whom i have hurt . I mean it.
I am happy now, turning over a new leaf. I am happy that i dont think of how hurt i was before. I am happy that i am not afraid anymore. I am happy that i fight for myself. I believe. I hope . I know . I am have faith in whatever i do. But sometimes i lose myself along the way and it takes time to find ME again but i do believe that i will make things better for myself. I pull myself away form hurting any further. So that they will learn not to hurt . So that they can have a better future with the ones they love. I may sound like i am crapping but I am not. I am just saying whatever i want to say.
If you love someone, dont ever let them go. Even if they hurt you and break your heart. If you truly love them , you'll never hate them. If they're happy when they're not with you. Then be happy for them. But never stop fighting for the ones you love, even if it is your mum,or dad,or sister,or brother,or a friend, or a lover. Always tell them that you will never give up on them. Even when the sky turns dark , you shine the light on them !

No one can stop you , But YOU ! So live your life to the fullest not knowing what or who . Just live it. Dont complain. Be greatful. That's what i am doing.

SMILE
=)

Ask Me !

2010-08-28T07:13:00.000-07:00

I Cant Sleep !

2010-08-27T10:04:00.000-07:00

Well , i so cant sleep . And yeah ! I am watching The Last Song . Its loading right now. I mite just stay awake until morning. Anyway, lately i've been singing and recording a lot. Umm..and i was offered a spot in a group. I am really flattered . I would be honoured to join them but i am kinda shy ! Because i am not professional at all ! =) But wat the heck . Should I Give It A Shot ?

PARAMORE is coming to MALAYSIA. I so wanna go see them ! Hope mummy lets me go ! =)

Lucky ? Yes? No ?

2010-08-27T06:17:00.001-07:00

Am I LUCKY ?
YES I AM !

I am going to sue Soniscya back for getting me addicted to CAFE WORLD ! Haha .. i am happy, lucky and well just hyperactive. I am happy because of so many reasons , Soniscya, Si Manis, Anton, Veena And Vita. Well, i havent been studying at all.I am truly gonna suffer for end year exams . I mean i just cant concentrate at all. I know i have a lot to study .

26 of August is one of the most unforgettable days in my life !
I've been having loads of fun with Soniscya. Today i followed her ,brother, and her mum to go visit her Grandmother. It was really awesome. They talked on and on and on and on ! It was truly different ! I was nice though to see family love each other so much ! I learnt something today. Never Forget Those Who Brought You Into This World !
And , I am gonna get Soniscya Karajj married to my Guitar since she loves it so much ! KEKE ! I need more family outings ! Ugh !
I have to study . I am seriously way way way behind right now . I dont wanna fail. I promised to study hard and do well. Hell yeah. I am keeping that promise. Studying starts tonight ! You heard that , I am gonna study ! =)

Can I Tell You Something ?

2010-08-20T07:33:00.000-07:00

Can i tell you ?
That my world is a better place when you are around,
My heart beats faster and faster,
Whenever you smile,
So can you tell me something now ,
Tell me how is it that you make me feel so BEAUTIFUL !

♥

This is so random !
Just a thought ! Thats All ! =)

I'll Stand By You!

2010-08-20T06:03:00.000-07:00

I have something to say to all my friends out there. Wherever or whatever it is .. Always know that I am here for you. You can always lean on me. When you need someone to talk to , someone to make you laugh and smile. I am right here. No doubts ! I am always a good friend to all of you guys ! When the whole world is against you , I will STAND BY YOU. I am not afraid to stand up for you. You go down, I'll come along with YOU !

I just dont get why people are making other people's lives so damn hard ! They are literally destroying so many lives. Its so cheap,uncivilized, and darn stupid ! Back off already .

LOVE THEM ALL !

♥ =)

My Dream !

2010-08-18T02:15:00.001-07:00

Breathing as normal and easy as i can . Guess what ? Next year is Spm year ! Damn !

Past keeps running in my mind . I am trying to not think about it but it's still there. I am not proud of it but i am wondering what can i do to make it go away .

Last Sunday was fun. Outing with Niscya and The Boys was loads of fun ! Hmmm...i dont really know what to blog about . I really wanted to buy this dress i saw in Nichii but WHT?... I didnt have enough bucks ! HEHEHE!

GOOD FOR ME !

2010-08-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

Life is good ! *touches wood*. I am happy, i am surrounded by people who loves me . That makes so many things easy and peaceful. 'Death is peaceful, Life is harder'. I always keep that in mind.
I see chaos and pain around me ! So many lies and tears and yet I am still strong . Why?. Because of my family and friends ! They make my world a better place. I have hope because of them. It's like when i look up to they skies, i know things will change to be better. People will soon learn to not discriminate and hate so much ! I know they will learn. Nobody is perfect ! We all try too hard . But there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel. That's why i believe, even when sometimes i feel like killing myself because of the pain but I think of the reasons that God gave me , keeps me alive ! Keeps me living my life making differences in other people's lives!
I think of all the laughters and weird silly faces my friends make when i crack up a joke . I think of how my mother looks at me when i started acting MAD. I think of how i make someone else smile when they are hurt. These simplest things makes my life so important that i have to live it ! It's my job to live it !
I feel more alive now, more peaceful. I dont want to complain. I am thankful for the life i have. Eventough there are times i regret but isn't that what life is all about ! It teaches me to be more and more loving ! I am changing in a very small way . And yes i do admit that i have made many mistakes. But i learn to not make them again. I am who i am . I'll always be Nevania Nuresha Johnson. I love my name , my life and everyone in it ! Nothing will ever change that .
SO SMILE AND PRAY ! =)

Go All The Way !

2010-08-13T06:10:00.000-07:00

Till Day is Day ,
Night is Night ,
There is No One Like You
So Rock With It ! ♥

It's August Already !

2010-08-12T02:44:00.000-07:00

August , then September , then October. Times flies ! I want it to just stop for a second to let me catch a breath ! I am seriously freaked about exams ! I hope it wont be difficult ! What the hell am i saying , obviously it would be ! It a must to makes us , Students, suffer ! Muahahaha!

Other than that , the next two weeks holidays , Veena and Vita are planning to have a sleepover at my place. For the first week at theirs , then at mine ! Cant wait for that ! I miss being crazy with ma Punjabi gals ! Haha !

Hmmm, friendship is like a diamond ! Luckily things in school are way better now. We all worked out our differences and now we're fine (touch wood). I am happy that finally so many of us speaked out. We had our own saying ! We understand each other more better.
I am so glad and happy now ! Am not sure how long this feeling would last so i better make the best of it ! This Saturday is outing day with Soniscya Karajj, Anbu Ovo ,Lawson Prakash,Shaquille Dean, Ian Schubert And Me ! Its her birthday outing ! So i cant wait ! We are gonna catch a movie ! =)

Imma Get Your Heart Racing ! In My Skin Tight Jeans ! Be A Teenage Dream Tonight ! =P

Smiling And Crying !

2010-08-09T04:44:00.000-07:00

Right now, being a teenager is hard ! But i am holding on . So many people are moving on , headed forward. So am I . I feel like i dont have to feel bad anymore . I dont even want to feel that way . Hah ! hypocritical !

Anyway, i am happy because whenever i am down , there is always someone there to cheer me up .They are there. I sure hope i am not exaggerating because I dont want to be the one regretting later on . I am not sure who or what ! But i dont wanna know. What happened in the past , stays in the past ! But if the past is still in the present . It's not my duty to get rid of it. It's theirs. If there are lies, let there be lies. KARMA ! What goes around comes around !

Its My Life , Not Yours !

2010-08-06T06:19:00.000-07:00

I wanna make a statement!

Whatever it is that i do with my life, is my damn bloody problem! Who the hell are you to judge me ! I dont even know you ! You are not me !

Why dont i just let everybody else run my life. Why dont YOU all tell me how to live my damn life !
I dont say things that are untrue. I cant even talk to anyone i wanna talk to . And if i do , it becomes the next big gossip ! Its all BULLSHIT !
Nevania is talking to this guy or that guy or that girl or that person ! Why the hell do you care who i talk to ! ITS MY LIFE ! Do i have to like hit your fucking head! I am not a little girl , i know i've made mistakes ! NOBODY IS PERFECT! I dont bother anyone , i leave everyone to their problems . I dont simply stick my nose in other people's business. Why cant you do the same thing ???? Why Why Why ?? I try my hardest to not care . I ignore everything . But YOU people keep pestering me bout it ! Just let it go la. FOR GOD SAKES!

I am here dying to study,score A's, make my parents happy, helping out my friends . And you all are happy getting together and conferencing about my LIFE ! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE ! Two-faced assholes. You all act good to me but behind my back, you bitch about me ! Look at yourself in the mirror first.

I am done being nice to people . There is no point in that . I am not WEAK ! I am not gonna care anymore. I wish all the HATERS good luck in life cause you are gonna have a hard time living it . I am only gonna live for the people who i love and loves me back . I wanna make a difference in my life. I am afraid i would become like THEM . I wont let that happen. I wont let any of you discriminate me. No one can bring me down . If you wanna say something say it to my FACE. I am not scared because i tell the truth.
I am going to live my life the way i want it to .
GET OFF MY BACK !

Dear Nevania = P

2010-08-05T08:12:00.000-07:00

I think Amanda Seyfried is absolutely beautiful! Talented as well ! Her acting in Dear John is extremely believable and authentic! Her eyes are amazing! I think she deserves an OSCAR ! =)

Updating - - - - - - 99 % !

2010-08-05T02:29:00.000-07:00

From whatever that is currently going rite now , I am not sure whether I feel sad, happy or amused !

Things are obviously getting so mixed up. In school, Friends of Friends are fighting. Things are running wild. I am stuck in the middle of it all. Misunderstanding, unfairness, backstabbing , these words are just killing each and every happy moments in school . It Sucks! All i can do is pray things would get better soon!

At home, Mummy has been saying that i am lazy. I do admit that i am but i am seriously tired from all the studying and the tuition classes. It's not easy at all being a teenager. She says that I dont know how to appreciate life and whatever i have . That statement is so not TRUE!
I do appreciate everything i have ! I am not selfish ! I am studying as hard as i can to make my parents proud . Which looks like its not enough . My hard work is all just dust! I am seriously stressed! I am falling sick! I have no idea what to say that could show my parents that i do care about them ! I love them!

Studies , they are going up and down for me ! I have problems adapting !

As for myself , I am feeling a little insecure ! Being afraid of the future i guess. I just dont know what to expect now. Because it looks like ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. That three words scarethe hell out of me . But i will stay strong, walk confidently and smile ! Cause i am not weak and i wont let anyone think that i am! All you haters out there, talk if you want ! KARMA! I dont and will never give a shit of what you wanna or gonna say ! You dont know me , so keep your cock talk to yourself ! LIFELESS!

No Reply

2010-07-31T09:50:00.000-07:00

I AM AFRAID!
Ever heard of Paranoia! That's what i am feeling right now! i Really dont know why. I hate this feeling!

I Wanna Change

2010-07-29T04:25:00.000-07:00

I am tired,hurt,happy and exhausted!

HELLO

2010-07-28T03:57:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in a very long time that i miss doing that so much!
Anyway, prom came and went. It was worth the time. I thanks everyone that was in our table. ANTON,SONISCYA,ANBU,GABBY,DIVYAN,SHAHRAS,MEERA,and a few others. You guys made prom a memorable one! Soni was in quite a bad mood but Anbu made her happy. C'mon ...he made us all damn bloody happy! Hehe...we all camwhored like hell!!.
Anyway, a new environment is going darn well for me. School is as normal as usual.
Exam results suck!
Haiz...but nevamind forget that for a moment.
I wanna say something to all the haters out there. Screw u ! You wanna say something go ahead. I dont give a shit no more. It's my life and i wanna live it how i want to! I am happy now..with everyone around me. Especially my amazing FRIENDS! I love you guys to the core!!I am reading Dear John rite now, it's truly an emotional book. I learnt a lot from it. Nicholas Sparks is no doubt a good author. I am aiming for the last song. I really wanna watch the movie too. This weekend might be a movie nite with Soniscya. Not sure bout that yet. Or i'll just sit at home and hit the books! I've been studying like a dog and my results arent seem to improving which is really frustrating. I wonder where did i go wrong? I dont even copy! That's all i guess for now! =)Oh..yeah..The chinese guy was my date!! His name is Gabriel..one of my best friends!

So Tell Me How

2010-07-14T03:47:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow i will be moving in to my new house. I cant wait for that. Anyway, i am not really in the mood of blogging. All i know is that i miss someone badly!
= (

MORNIG AND NIGHT

2010-07-13T03:45:00.000-07:00

My love,
Leave yourself behind
Beat inside me
Leave you blind

My love,
You have found peace
You were searching
For release

You gave it all
Into the call
You took a chance and,
You took the fall for us

You came thoughtfully
Loved me faithfully
You taught me honor
You did it for me

Tonight,
You will sleep for good
You will wait,
For me, my love

Now I am strong
You gave me all
You gave all you had
And now I am home

My love,
Leave yourself behind
Beat inside me
Leave you blind

My love,
Look what you can do
I am mending
I'll be with you

You took my hand
Added a plan
You gave me your heart
I asked you to dance with me

You loved honestly
Did what you could, release

Ahhhh,
Oooohh,
Ahhhh,

I know,
You're pleased to go
I won't,
Relieve this love

Now I am strong
You gave me all
You gave all you had,
And now I am home

(My love)
(Beat inside me)

My love,
Leave yourself behind
Beat inside me
I'll be with you

Well, i am obviously obsessed with this song. LIke literally! I am on my way to believing!

Faithfully

2010-07-10T04:06:00.000-07:00

Well, what can i say. I am already on a cloud. Everything around me that's happening. A new home,neighbourhood, FRIEND , memories ! Where can i start ?

I am kinda blur, i am still amazed by how things are actually happening for me. But i hope it lasts, unlike all the other memories which just fade away to dust. I am just hoping things would be better. I dont want to make the same mistakes again and again. I've already done that many many times. I dont understand how i could be so stupid to fall for things that are fake! I have spoiled myself! Pretending ! I will change! I am changing. I dont want to be someone that i hate. I want to be how i want to be! I dont wanna be what they say i will be! They dont know me, they dont know the pain. Only i know! And GOD!

At a point, i am happy where i am ! I am happy to be in a situation where everything is real and well, it makes me feel more alive. I've got many new people in my life rite now and i am glad to have known this people. I am also hoping to not lose any of my friends. Well , there is someone who is in a bad mood and i dont think there is a way for me to help this person. Anyway i am moving on the 15th and i cant wait. Exam is on the i-dont-know-when-date . Prom is on the 24th ! Another awesome nite to await for!

The Only Difference

2010-07-09T07:54:00.000-07:00

I am so in the mood of being happy! No more Sad me!

There is just something there, or someone who will put a smile on my face.

A BIG FAT SMILE!

Damn, something has been filling me up, I guess its because of my friends. Most of my post are about my friends. You yourself can see how big they are in my life. But one thing i noe, there is no way i will ever forget them. Listening to single ladies now!
I have to start packing now!LAZY!

Prom Night

2010-07-08T01:28:00.000-07:00

Prom Night in on the 24th of July. Clearly everybody is really excited about it! So am i.
Soniscya, Anton , Many many of them are gonna be there. Seriously i cant wait!.
Hope this night turns into a good one. I really need a clean memory.

Anyway i am moving into a house at southern park. Which is like near La salle and also STAR!
Where a few of my friends go to !
Cant wait for that either. Everything is going to change.
I've set a date where i know things are already different .
31st October.
No more Miss-kelam-kabut-always-screw-things-up!
This time i am gonna keep my words!
Hopefully! Doing it with GOD by my side!

Day At Home

2010-07-04T19:31:00.000-07:00

Well, right at this moment i am at home. I couldn't reli go to school because i am having a stomach ache and backpain. I am gonna study btw like a mad dog. Since my results for last month exams are like SHIT, i am gotta kick it up a notch. I am really in the mood for a big fat cup of MILO. Anyway,i am alone at home. Mum will be back at 1 and serve lunch. Wonder what i will be having to day??...YUM!
Anyway, I know ANTON,VEENA,VITA and KOSHI are like going to be so pissed with me because i didnt show up at school. Homeworks are gonna get piled up in my room. MY meesy room need to be cleaned, my cupboard needs to get reorganised, and i need to study!
CHEMISTRY,ADD MATHS and BIOLOGY!
How interesting. I am missing so many of my friends at this very moment so i want them to know.

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO DAMN MUCH

Anyway
I dont know why you say GOODBYE, i say HELLO!

Kyon Hawa (Veer Zaara)

2010-07-03T07:18:00.000-07:00

Lately, i've been writing a lot. I transfer every word i write into a song. And guess what, A B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L song is created. I am amazed by how i could write bout something so surreal,deep and meaningful. I've been through so much that i never stop coming up with an idea of what to sing or write about. I am in such peace when i write. When i play my GUITAR and Sing the words i wrote myself, its like a part of me is complete. I feel like i am creating my own world, MY SWEET ESCAPE. I dont need no guy,or watever. All in need is a pen,book,guitar and i can make WONDERS.
Being a songwriter is one of my dream!
So tell me , tell me something. I can totally write bout it.
HAHA!

Zee Avi

2010-07-02T09:05:00.000-07:00

Zee Avi...omg. There are no words to describe her. I am like totally into her music now!Dont know why!

GUITAR

2010-06-29T23:51:00.000-07:00

Well, for now things are okay. I am hanging on. Still surviving. I am so darn stupid!. Anyway... have i told you guys that i love my guitar!!haha..

Life Inside Of Me

2010-06-25T10:32:00.000-07:00

I guess i deserve it though. The punishment is painful yet i can endure it because it's the punishment i get from hurting others.

Eventough i know there are so many out there judging me. All i can say is, GO AHEAD! I am not gonna care or even want to care. I know it would hurt me more but all i can do is ignore. They dont know me. They dont know the pain i carry inside of me. They dont know the LIFE INSIDE OF ME!. I have reasons too!I have a say too! BTW..i am still surviving. I am hanging on!
I am not going down no way! I've learnt my lesson and now i am gonna make a right move!

Anyway, exams results are like shitty but SEJARAH was like awesome! i got an A and thats like frigging awesome!One thing about all this crazyness is that, my friends tend to cheer me up all the time. I just love the way they make me laugh. It just brings me up. Nothing can compare to them!Anyway..I LOVE YOU GUYS!
I wanna say sorry to some of my friends. I can hardly use the internet and my phone so it will be difficult to communicate!hehe..
For now i gtg!

Do Not Deserve

2010-06-17T08:31:00.000-07:00

Maybe i dont deserve it. I dont deserve to be loved. It will never satisfy me!

Mixed Up Inside

2010-06-16T10:05:00.000-07:00

I am surely aware of what i am doing now but at some point, there is still a small doubt in myself. I am asking myself whether what i am doing is wright or wrong. I mean i'm not same person anymore. I dont feel the same like i use to before. I dont love,trust and hate the same like i use to before. Nowadays i mostly dont care. I dont know why i am feeling this way. I am trying to figure that out myself.

I am so annoyed by me! I wanna stop feeling this way but it wont go away. I am tired of it! I just wanna enjoy whatever i have rite now. Sometimes i wanna be cruel,sometimes i wanna be happy and loving. But i just dont wanna be goody anymore!UGHH! I hate this side of me. I hate being like this. I wanna end this pain!

OH GOD..hear me. Please help me through this. How can i ever stop this annoying feeling inside of me!Why can i ever be satisfied!

I mite just take a gun and put it against my head,
Pull the trigger.
But it does not work that way!

We're Making History

2010-06-15T10:15:00.000-07:00

I miss school, friends, ponteng-ing, annoying teachers, everything about it. I know i've been going through a rough time at school but nothing beats the excitement i get in school. Its the best thing in my life. I wake up every morning and cant wait to get to school. It's where it all happens. LOVE,HATE,HEARTBREAK,HAPPINESS,SADNESS and everything else! happens here!
I am darn well missing it. Holidays are killing me. I wanna get out of the house and hang out with my friends!I wanna laugh and scream with my friends!. I wanna run round around school making fun of myself!WEIRD RITE!
The years have past so fast. I am 16 now. I have gone through 15 years of school. I am still surviving till this very day. I am so damn bloody thankful. After all the shit, i am sitting here in my chair and blogging, telling you guys out there that i am doing extremely fine!Oh GOD, i just realised that i love myself and everyone around me so much. I ain't gonna lose any of them.It's 'them' that dont know how to appreciate my friendship. Nevermind it's ok. I've got other better friends who are actually there for me!
BTW this post is inspired by
ANBU OVO!
(he is gonna kill me)

New Jojo

2010-06-14T00:54:00.001-07:00

The way you're part of me,
I would have to re-learn everything,
If you were to leave,So fast you make me fall like I was autumn leaves,
And, honestly..
There a perfect explanation
Why you feel so good to say that you're
My love, my love, my love
I'll give you all my love if you, if you,
If you dont change a thing,
About the way you hold me everynight,
So right, I wanna man like you forever in my life.

I'm locked inside a jar, Turn the lid and set me free,
I love everything that you are,
Has a million other reasons,
But lets not go to far,
Stay, close to my heart,
When I think about the future,
I am right there where you are,
Cos you're...

My love, my love, my love
I'll give you all my love if you, if you,
If you dont change a thing,
About the way you hold me everynight,
So right, I wanna man like you to say you're,

My love, my love, my love I'll give you all my love if you, if you,
if you dont change a thing,
About the way you hold me everynight,
So right, I wanna man like you forever in my life.

I know, that you, would never leave me hanging,
Hanging out to dry in the wind,
I know that we haven't seen the worst of it,
But when we do, I promise you we'll stick it out together.
You're..
My love, my love, my love
I'll give you all my love if you,if you,
If you dont change a thing,
About the way you hold me everynight,
So right, I wanna man like you forever in my life.

So right, I wanna man like you forever in my lifeeeeee..

I love this song. Addicted to it actually.Jojo is coming back soon. Love her music. Especially her lyrics. They speak to me, telling me a story. I can relate so much to this song.
<3

You'll Sing It Back To Me

2010-06-13T08:52:00.000-07:00

Loading Vampire Diaries. I am like addicted to that show. Watching it every second of the day, not exactly every second la. But it keeps me occupied. Watching it pops a question in my mind. ' ARE WE IN CONTROL OF OURSELVES?'.

However, i am missing him a lot.

I am listening to some PARAMORE music now, ALL I WANTED WAS YOU. I cant believe a Sunday could be this boring. Mummy's birthday ends in two minutes. She is kinda sad though because baba havent called and wished. I hoped i could have made her birthday more special. It's sad to watch her wait like that, i wish i could do something.
Anyway, i've been thinking , i've lost so many people in 5 months. Can you believe that..well it's not entirely my fault that i've lost them. It's theirs too. They just pretend to be I-AM-SO-INNOCENT-I-DID-NOT-DO-ANYTHING-WRONG. Bohooooo!
They broke my heart,my trust, everything that a friend has for a friend. Well now to me..the word FRIENDSHIP is totally disgraced thanks to somebody!
But i am putting that behind me!BULL!
It takes time to forget my EX-FRIENDS!
But the i still love and cherish the rest of them that are still present in my life. LOVE THEM TO BITS!

Is 'LOVE' Still Here?

2010-06-13T00:40:00.000-07:00

I guess it's still here,
What do you think,
I am not sure whats going on in my mind,
I am blinded by ? smile,laugh and eyes.
What's happening to me?

Forever In My LIfe

2010-06-12T03:12:00.000-07:00

I am ready to take it all in, i am ready for the discrimination. I am smart enough to know what is right and wrong. If i am destined to get hurt then fine, i will endure to pain. If i have to go through pain to change a life then i will. I know i would be hearing people say things. But i wont absorb them in me. I have a mind of my own. I dont deal with hypocrites.
I know i mite get hurt and get left but it's not like that never happened before. I am starting new, no more bringing my past into the present and the future. I need to forget what i've kept inside me that gives me nothing but pain. I wont listen to what people say, i will only listen if i they have proove. Everyone makes mistakes. If this is a mistake , i will learn from it. I am ready to be happy,sad,angry or feel hurt. Either way i know i have someone there i can share it with.
The world is cruel this days. Sometimes i wonder where did the love go. All i can do is PRAY!

Is He Asleep ?

2010-06-10T11:49:00.000-07:00

I am DEPRESSED. I am Sad. What if its happening again? What if its punishment?
OH please dont let it hit me again. I'll Just Die!

Sleeping With My Eyes Open

2010-06-03T08:11:00.000-07:00

Well, i am free from school,examz, gossip and everything that has to do with shcool. Two weeks without it wont do no harm since i am having a bad time in school. It's feel much more peaceful not worrying about what's gonna happen or why or blah blah blah. It's just me, labtop, facebook, Vampire Diaries, and some good music.
I am gonna spent my first week of holidays with A & P. It's gonna be awesome. Saturday is our movie day. Celebrating with KOSHI in jusco!.
Then later, i am hitting A&P 's crib. Then two days after, they're hitting my crib. Woah, different way of words now. I am also gonna continue reading Eclipse. I stopped for like a while because of school work and exams. I am gonna have to start doing add maths every single day because i had add maths paper today, and most of the pages were EMPTY!. Haiz...that's just sad since i love ADD MATHS.
Anyway, i wont be online from Saturday till Tuesday i guess.
But dont worry, i'll be back!

I Dont Know You Anymore

2010-06-01T02:37:00.000-07:00

I have no idea who you've become. You broke my heart. Thought you were my friend but friends dont lie,cheat and backstab each other. I hate what you are. I found out horrifiying things about you. Now, i cant even look at you. I feel so disgusted. What have i ever done to you to deserve this. Someone is watching..WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND!
I dont think of you as a nice person anymore, you're a nightmare to me. I regret being your friend. I regret being there when you needed me. But i am thankful that GOD finally open my eyes to who you really were. Now, i have to move on. I dont need your friendship. Its not like i would die without you!
So, you can F**K OFF!
Dont smile,look,or even have a glance at me!

Grandpa, I Love You

2010-05-30T08:58:00.000-07:00

I wish i knew my mother's father. I wish i'd seen him,talk to him,laugh with him,hold his hand, love him. I feel as if when i had no one,not even friends, he would be the one to pick me up. I always had a feeling that he would pet me,give me so much hope when there is none left. I sometimes feel so alone. I know somewhere deep in my heart if he was here, he would be the most influential person. Someone i wouldnt even bear losing. I wish he was here to wipe my tears. To be my mother,father,brother,friend. I hopefully wish he was here with me. I wish I knew GEORGE GRANVILLE SCHUBERT(not sure of spelling = ) ). I would love to be in his arms, telling me that everything will be fine. I wish to sit on his lap and hear old time stories. I wish to talk,walk,smile,laugh and be like him. I feel like i know him, even i never met him before. I feel like i've been near him. I wish i had him. I wish i had him that loves me endlessly.
I wish him to walk me to the park when i was three. To teach me how to do magic tricks. Teach me how to do everything. At least he would the one person that would never upset me.
I wish, I wish, I wish.
That's all i could do since he is no more in this world.
But i know one day, i'll meet him. That would be the day,my life begins.

A Selfish Person

2010-05-27T09:04:00.000-07:00

Am I a selfish person?. Do i do things for myself? I am not selfish okay!. I do not think of myself all the time. I think more of other people than myself. Eventually i like helping other people but some idiots just dont get that. Wat the hell la??. I am tired of making myself like a fool. Someone has been trying to get in touch but i ignore because i aint falling for it again.
Anyway exam has been suckish ! Especially PHYSICS! I really dont know what to do now.
LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WON!!
Wohooooo..i knew it. He deserves it!
But the duet he did with Crystal is absolutely amazing. I am so in love with that song. FALLING SLOWLY! I think that American Idol wont be the same without SIMON COWWEL but the show has to move on! Anyway....wish me luck in exams!!!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !

2010-05-25T04:56:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday, 25th Of MAY. Damn, i had a blast in school..DAVIN poured water down my shirt..asshole. Anyway, did i mention that i had an english exam today. I have to sit for exam on my birthday.
I got so many wishes from so many people today..even from people i dont know. I AM SWEET SIXTEEN!. I am seriously thankful and greatful to all my friends for being there for me. My family for always supporting me. I thank them for making this day very special to me. I am actually really really happy. I haven't felt that in a long time. Today is the best birthday i've ever had. WOHOO...can you believe that!!...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

What else is there???

2010-05-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

Well, i am thinking of STUDYING or watching VALENTINE'S DAY. Either one i dont know which to choose.

MY friend told me that i am a totally different person. She told me in a good way. She said that i am not as strong as i used to be. Compared to how i was two years ago, now i am like way way way low. Well,i cant help it, a lot has happened in two years. Things i never wanted to happened, did occur. Many people came into my life and took all of me. I can never get it back,maybe i can..i just dont know how. I am gonna have to learn how to stand up for myself. Respect and love myself before i could love anyone else. I am trying so darn hard but suddenly something will just get in the way and bring me down. Luckily my friends are there to pick me up. They bring me back on my feet and stand by me. I can always count on them. So now,the conclusion is that i have to gain my strength i once had two years ago. I once i get it back...DAMN..i am gonna show to that ASSHOLE who took it away!!..I WILL GET IT BACK!WATCH ME!

This Thing Called LOVE

2010-05-18T04:26:00.000-07:00

What is it actually?. I have no idea. Rite now i am in a dilema. Cant mention what kinda dilema actually,hehe..its a secret. I am just so tired of being this girl that people push around.

Anyway, i so made her jealous. It's a good feeling. Screw her la!.
I am really empty rite now. I have so much on my mind to say but dont know where to start.
Can you believe that i do not thing that it's really important to be IN LOVE. C'mon la..i am only 16 for goodness sake. I find it a waste of time.
THIS IS WHAT I AM SAYING NOW LA!

But how much you wanna bet that i mite say the opposite in another few months time! Haha..that's just me la.
I miss CHOCOLATE icecream. I miss so many things. I miss reading, because i study so much i got no time to even read a few pages of my ECLIPSE,which i havent finished yet until today! I miss going swimming,exercising,running!!...
Wishing exam to finish fast.
I am gonna spent my hols at ASVITA AND PRAVEENA's CRIB.
FELLOWSHIP IS ON ITS WAY!!

LEE AND CUDI - MY OBSESSION

2010-05-12T08:47:00.000-07:00

AREN'T both of them just so damn bloody awesome ! <3>

PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

2010-05-12T08:07:00.000-07:00

I am in denial,and confusion..and yes it is totally normal for a girl like me.
Anyway,i've been going through a hard time lately. Thanks to SONISCYA,ASVITA AND PRAVEENA KAUR for helping me get through it. Exams are like so effin near. I am getting stressed up day by day.

I am addicted to KID CUDI..omg. He is like frigging awesome and handsome. I wish he would come down to Malaysia to perform. If he did i would never miss it EVER. I am gonna post some pics of him. He is like my biggest celebrity crush rite now!!. His music is so direct and true. Authentic and no more amazing words to describe him. Anyway,anyway,anyway, is like my fav word when i am blogging...

AMERICAN IDOL, I am so in love with LEE DEWYZE. HE is so freaking talented. HIs voice is so dreamy and freaking rare. Haha...i so love him. I hope he will soon be the American Idol of 2010. He so totally deserves it. I will be supporting and loving him till the end. Nothing will tear us apart..MUAHAHHA...i sound physco. I am not!!
This SATURDAY party at STEFFYVANESSASCHUBERT's HOUSE....
wohoooo...

No Happy Ending

2010-05-08T06:36:00.000-07:00

Death is peaceful, Life is harder.
That's what i keep in my mind every step i take. I've made a mistake i wish i never had...i made tears roll down from an angel's eyes. The feeling is absolutely horrifying. I wish to not have lived this day. I wish to not live this day ever again. How do i explain my pain?
How do i unhurt the people i love so dearly....?How do i explain why i cant love anymore?
I do not deserve happiness. I do not deserve someone to love. Deep inside i am not worthy of anyone's love. I can only give back pain and hurt. That was prooven today. Today i know what i deserve, and that is nothing. I am making it clear to myself to only let my heart open to GOD and no one else. I know he can hear me, and i know he will forgive me. I am ready to face the shit.

It's me, I am a freak, But thanks for loving me, Cause you did it perfectly.
I hope whoever is reading this,to understand that i never meant to hurt or give pain to anyone in my life. I am sincerely sorry. I would lock myself up misery to punish myself for the pain i have caused to so many people especially to the ones who loved me. So please hear me, and keep something in your mind. To my friends, I know that you know that i am helpless now, please dont get me the wrong way. If i make a decision, there is always a reason behind it. You guys may not understand, but when the time comes, you will know why.
You have to learn to let go no matter how painful it feels, it's the way of life. Stay strong, never let anything keep you from doing what is right. Never betray the only women who is gonna stand by you till the end.

NOTHING ON YOU.....IN LOVE YES OR NO???

2010-05-01T04:07:00.000-07:00

I am confused...??...
I've been really busy lately..
And i've been really really busy socializing..actually. My friends list have been doubled. I am lucky to have made so many friends in such a small period.
I miss school and my crazy friends.
Anyway.. i need to make a desicion and i really have no idea what i am suppose to do. I dont know what to think about. But i am take it slow. Maybe this time it mite be for real but i really dont think i believe in miracles...OR MAYBE I DO??.UGHH..i am really stuck.

Anyway..exams are coming. I am studying like a crazy dog. Staying up late at night and studying....well..it will pay off..HARD WORK.
I dnt really have much to say...
I am so confused!!

AKU BUKAN SUPERMAN

2010-04-23T09:50:00.000-07:00

Somethings just dont work out the way you wanted it to but even if it doesnt there's still hope. One door closes another one opens.
I love SONISCYA...ANTON RANIL....RAVIN....SANESH....SEELAN...JO ANN....AND SO MANY OTHERS. I am so greatful for all that i've got. I cant even describe how happy i've been. After all the shit i've been through, i am happy and no regrets about it. Well MAy is on its way..and i cant wait because this is my favourite month. HEHE....and my friends have to know why..if they dont ...i'll spank the shit out of them. I really appreciate my friends being honest to me. That's the most important thing i need and i am glad my friends are actually being honest
AND CRAZY...
Exams are on their way...(their)..haha...i am so bored now...i wanna sleep edi..hehehe..
NITEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LET IT BE....AN INSPIRATION

2010-04-18T00:05:00.000-07:00

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

I love SINGING and DANCING

2010-04-16T21:43:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention that MPAB was awesome. I sang and danced. I was totally nervous. It was my first time performing in front of many people.
There is even the video of me singing....on FACEBOOK..
Anyway, i am going for a dinner at my DAD's working place. I have to receive an award or something. I would maybe have to give a speech which i do not like but what the hell. This is a pew pictures of me and my FRIENDS!!

Bluekkk!!!

2010-04-15T04:33:00.000-07:00

Irritated,awkwardly rejected,or insane?..which to describe me. I dont know and dont care, i feel so stupid at times. I throw myself at people,it makes me look so desperate. I hate that. Are you being forced or pushed around?
Tell me, why does things get complicated and annoying. I just cant deal with that any longer. I hate ****.
They only know how to make you go crazy, and i hate that about them.

Why cant i love someone who loves me back, why cant i try making someone else happy for a change. It sucks.!!.
I am so mixed up rite now.
Not forgetting, I AM SO NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU.
You think you're hell of a big MANDE!!is it.
Screw you la, come to me and dare to accuse me. You've no idea what i would be saying. You wouldnt even believe your ears. You think you own the whole world that everybody should worship you!!PLEASE!
Nobody is there to back you up, and dont think i would let you push over my best friend...OVER MY DEAD BODY!

Nothing On You

2010-04-12T03:39:00.000-07:00

I'm bored sitting at home, yet i needed the rest. Anyway, i am getting ready to get back to studying . I seriously better score for my MID TERM. I also writing new songs..i am thinking of uploading the video on facebook but....????

Say Yes

2010-04-11T03:42:00.000-07:00

I was an awesome day??or not??..i really dont know but i didnt want that night at ASVITA'S to end because i learnt something so valueable that everything that i thought was important is no longer that worth it to me anymore. It's so much more than that..and i learnt from TWO amazing girls. My love and friendship never ends with them.
I am giving in and giving up, in a good way. I am gonna fall for ***. And there is nothing that is gonna stop that from happenning. <3

Naturally

2010-04-09T07:49:00.000-07:00

I am tired....!! and lazy to blog but i am gonna do it anyway. MPAB is on the 11..which is this SUnday..and i am extremely nervous since i am singing and dancing. My dancing group is called PUNJAB...hehe..
Inspired from PRAVEENA AND ASVITA KAUR. I love them to bits. I've been missing classes but SCREW IT....anyway...
I've been hearing many shit, and suprisingly i find it so damn bloody FUNNY..hahahahahhahahahahahaahah..laughing my ass off...!!. I think it's all bullshit, that's what i think la.I dnt know about the rest of the world...

Anyway, i am all gooeeeyyyyyy!!!!

Feeling So Much Better Now!

2010-04-02T08:19:00.000-07:00

Good Friday,
I desire mercy not sacrifice.

I am so in the mood for Easter dinner tomorrow at Roxy's place. All the cousins are going to camwhore. Anyway, i've been extremely busy this past few days because of MPAB preparation. i am gonna dance and sing on the same freaking day. Damn...but i am excited la. I'll be dancing with PRAVEENA, ASVITA KAUR. Tha last time we danced it was on 2006,when we were only like 12 years old. Those were the days..hahahah. Richard Micheal posted this picture of me and my cousins when we were like so young. I look so horrible. Cant even believe that was actually me??hahahahaha...

U must be wondering that my post title is a good sign. It's because i been smiling a lot for the past few days. I havent been sad or depressed at all. Miracle rite...there's a reason behind it but i am not telling..!Here you go..laugh all u want...!!hahahaha

MUAHAHAHHAHAAH

2010-03-30T04:36:00.000-07:00

I DONT CARE!!

You're Dead to Me

2010-03-29T01:48:00.000-07:00

I knew it was a lie, i knew you would do it again. I was stupid to fall for it again. It's all my fault actually, not yours!...but hell. You're going down,you're nothing to me, you're out of my life. I want it to stay that way!..i dont wanna hear form you ever again. You're dead to me.

Today i walked out of school bringing all the grief in me, and no i did not cry about it instead i laughed about it. I am sick and tired of crying so i laughed. I hope you find someone who does the same shit !. I am moving on, i am carrying on and i am staying strong. Aint no one gonna bring me down. I wont let anybody take advantage of me,lie to me or even to get on my nerves!!

I know you'll get what you deserve, it's not in my hands to punish you.!!
Kononnya you lied to unhurt me but that's all bullshit!

The Lie Hurts Too!!

I am HAPPY

2010-03-28T00:51:00.000-07:00

Just so you know, i am happy and not crying anymore. That's a big deal to me. Haha..anyways, thanks to Arwin Vijay,Soniscya Karajj and a few more other fellas!!. I am moving on, and no i am not waiting anymore. I am not stupid or blind..or what so ever.
Anton said my blog is kinda emo!...is it??..i dont think it is. I mean, i say whatever i wanna say. I am not trying to gain SYMPATHY from my readers (kononnya). One more thing is,i finally knocked some sense into my head. I thought to myself "I am so stupid". ANd now,i've got some things figured out. So i am back on track.I am not blinded by love anymore. Damn..i am so greatful to my friends!!

Girl 1 : He rocks my heart!
Girl 2 : Bohoo!!Gangstas rock my heart!!
Girl 3 : I ROCK MY HEART, and none of them boys can do it,they're only good on breaking it!
So thats something i wrote on my facebook status!!haha...i like it..inspired by STEFFYVANESSA

No Endings

2010-03-26T09:24:00.000-07:00

Now i am trying something different, well as you may notice,i changed my font..
hehe..no big deal really. Anyway, lately i've been thinking instead of wasting my time on people who dont really give a shit about me,who trash me behind my back and the ones who lie,lie,and lie all the time, i made up my mind to focus on people who actually need my help.

I could mention names but that would be to cruel of me to do. According to some people, i am just not good!..well to tell you the truth i dont really care of what they think. As long as my friends knows who i am ,what i do, it's more than enough. So right now, i am only gonna concentrate on my MUSIC,DANCE and SCHOOL. I've been thinking of meeting up with SONISCYA but things would get complicated. Anyways, i am singing on MPAB this year. Gaby will be playing the guitar, KOSHI and ME will be singing. We are singing THUNDER by BOYS LIKE GIRLS, which is a totally awesome song. I've been studying a lot lately too because i've been missing so many classes due to some 'complications' = p ..

I've also thought about how blind i was. I spent all those time crying and thinking about some people , that i've lost track of time. I am tired of sitting around and being sad all the time. I am moving on, and no i am not gonna wait. If it was faith,then let it be, if it wasnt then i'll let it go. Why be so desperate and so frustrating all the friggin time!!

I am also looking foward for MAY..my month.. AND NOONE IS GONNA RUIN IT FOR ME!!

Watch out,
I am coming!!haha

I Love Soniscya Karajj

2010-03-23T04:24:00.000-07:00

I want SONISCYA KARAJJ to know that she is not alone .She will always be engraved in our hearts. She is unlike anyone i've met before in my life. I remember the first time i met her, it was MSSS 2007, she had really short hair and i actually thought that she was gonna be like one of those snobby girls. BUT she was the total opposite, she was kind,warm,funny,has the most beautiful smile. She loves bullying me = p. What i am trying to say is that, she has changed a part of me to be better. She was always there whenever i needed her. I'm apologising to her if i've been stubborn or made her angry in any way. I AM REALLY SORRY SONI!

I am greatful to even have known her, to have her friendship,support and love. I thank her so much. We'll always love her and will always be with her . Every step she takes, we'll always be right behind her. We will never forget her love. She is always our best friend. Her loyalty,warmth,weirdness(haha),kindness and also a crazy *****...no offence (hehe)..will always amaze us. I dont give a shit , to me you will always be near (tears....)

...We love you SONISCYA....We Love you to bits.

Better Than Me

2010-03-20T08:19:00.000-07:00

I dont need someone better or perfect. I dont need a happy ending because there is no happy ending. It's reality, i dont want to be in a movie or a story. Why cant movies or stories become reality. Why do they have to be impossible to dream of?. I want something that is so wrong but feels so wright. Is that wrong?
I am really confused, i am so keened in pleasing people that i forgot what makes me happy. I am so obsessed with what other people tell me that i forget that the other person also has something to say. I have been unfair. Anybody can lie, i can lie, my friends can lie. My mom can lie...so why is it that everybody is complaining about deserving someone better than them. I dont think i am amazing but i know i am worth it. I know i can bring good out of someone. And if u know that i am talking bout you, please put that i your mind and think about it. I might not be here for a long time.
You might be thinking that i am blogging crap but i just needed to get it out of me..
NITEZ!

Baby

2010-03-16T23:35:00.000-07:00

I dont know whether that msg was meant for me..but i am hoping.
Anyways i am stuck again as usual...nothing new.
I had fun with RAVIN,SONISCYA,ANTON,SEELAN,SASHI,DICKY yesterday at AEON.
It was kinda screwed up because we had to watch a shitty movie but it was kinda fun actually. I ended sitting in a couple sit because the theater was half empty. Seelan was freezing ..hehe..KESIAN him. And i am so in love with BABY...seriously. Dont know why. I am not falling apart luckily. I am doing okay and i am happy. I seriously am so greatful to all my friends. Without them i would be dying now.
I would just hang myself. Yesterday a girl told me i was hot, which is seriously weird. If it was a guy then i would be okay about it. But nevermind, it was still a compliment. I should at least appreciate that. I gtg btw. BYE!!

Moving ON

2010-03-14T08:31:00.000-07:00

Is it wring to actually like JUSTIN BIEBER's music. I mean, i like the lyrics. They have deep meanings and i love that.
I am moving on with my life. I am going soul searching..hehe. I am happy..no doubt about that. The one and only reason i am is because of my friends. They are always there for me no matter what. I wanna tell them and let them know that I LOVE THEM TO BITS.
Nothing can compare to love and support form the people who loves you. Who accepts you for who you are and never questions you about anything you do. They always back you up.
Even knowing that we'll all go our separate ways one day, i'll always believe that we will have each other engraved in our hearts. They always seem to be able to turn on a small light for hope in my life. I seem to not feel the big hole in my heart. And it's all because of them.
One more inspiration is my MOM. Whom is always strong and never weak. I'll love her till the end. I'll always believe that in this world of hate and suffering, there will always be hope and LOVE. It doesnt have to be form a special someone but friendship is more than enough.So yes i can survive because as long as i know i am not alone, things will be just fine. I will be happy!